I know you are supposed to honor and respect thy father and mother, but honestly this is something that I struggle heartily with. I honestly feel that I am the person I am in SPITE of them, not due to them and I don't think that is too far off the mark or disrespectful to say. Some people just pull the short straw on parents I guess.
Observations from Easter Sunday:
* It has occurred to me that my mother seems to think she is in competition with everyone else in my life. She gets a smug look when she thinks that she won, which is ridiculous.
* She seems to really enjoy insulting me. Like not just do it because she doesn't think twice about what comes out of her mouth, but because she truly enjoys it. I think at the core she's a person who makes herself feel better by pointing out the flaws in others.
* I turn into a petulant teenager around her. Like I have a complete inability to either be myself or happy when she is around. Normally I am a very calm, even tempered person. Around her I get snappy, sullen and unexplicably grumpy.
Observations not regarding my mother:
* It's unfortunate that there are ministers out there who have such large egos it is obvious that they think they are the greatest being to walk the earth. It seems to me that doesn't really jive with the job description.
* I went to the church that I went to growing up. This is the exact church that made me hate organized religion for years.
* We went there because it was either that or the mormon church. My mother didn't want to go to any other one.
* We got there right at 11am, which meant that it was so crowded we had a hard time finding seats. We ended up having to get split up and my mother looked positively smug that I had to sit with her while Bill sat somewhere else. Our seats were right up in the very front. We were so close to the action it was a bit disarming.
* I ran into people that I knew back in high school but never talk to anymore. One has two little girls, they are adorable. The other is engaged and getting married two weeks before me. The last one is the same. She'll probably always be exactly the same she was back then.
* I find it strangely annoying when people don't have a single cause that they care about. It seems way too lackadasical to me. Like you can't possibly think that the world is perfect the way it is- and if you don't, then why don't you feel that it is worth it to at least state opinions about what you think is wrong? It's odd to me.